Friday, 1 May 2009

May Day Musings and Mutterings of a Maverick

First of all let me take this opportunity to wish you all a happy May Day.

Now, down to business. It’s Apprentice time again and I am hooked. I thought this week’s task was dull but the action in the boardroom more than compensated. I have to admit that Debra Barr, self-confessed super gob, floats my boat. Anybody who dares to criticise her performance is met with a haughty, sneering half-smile and a contemptuous glare. This week, she even dared to lambast Nick, Sir Alan’s trusty lieutenant, and received a smacked-arse and a final warning for her efforts. However, in the follow-up programme shown immediately afterwards (although I am told it is filmed six months later) Nick sang her praises and explained she got a bit excited in the boardroom. Nick’s boat has obviously been floated too. I don’t think she would have found Margaret so malleable!

One of the highlights of this episode was Margaret referring to another of the contestants, Lorraine, as a ‘Cassandra’. This, as we all know, referred to a prophet from Greek mythology that made correct prophecies but was always ignored. All right, I didn’t know - I could only think of Rodney’s wife in Only Fools and Horses. Sir Alan obviously didn’t know either because he glanced quizzically at Margaret as if to say ‘who the fuck is Cassandra?’

Now, talking of Cassandras, Boffy’s Blog has been predicting for some time that while being very deep the current recession will likely be relatively short-lived. Recently, a few commentators are starting to agree but originally he seemed to be a lone voice in the wilderness. I don’t want to start a deep debate on economics here. This is intended to be a light-hearted and upbeat post and I certainly am not underestimating the misery that people are currently experiencing in the dole queues. But I am going to stick my neck out here (like my heroine from The Apprentice) and state I agree there is a recovery underway and that over the coming months the rise in unemployment should start to slow before the jobless figures start to decline. If I am wrong, I will hold my hands up.

And talking about being upbeat, the Met Office is predicting a warm, dry summer. As I am suffering economic hardship, my summer holidays this year are going to be four nights in Bournemouth at the UCU annual congress. This is a big improvement on last year, which was two nights in rainy Manchester for the same event. Hopefully the sun will shine and I can escape the gruelling machinations of trade union bureaucracy for a few minutes to enjoy an ice-cream cornet on the seafront. Who knows, Sir Alan might even send Empire and Ignite down to Bournemouth to sell ice creams on the beach. Debra would look magnificent in her swimwear! Oh to be in England!

10 comments:

harpymarx said...

Ha! So I am not the only one who will be visiting a seaside town on union business...That's the closest I am getting to a proper holiday! Ice cream cornet.... You lucky comrade...that's more than what I will be getting....

Actually Phil.... someone needs to slash you with some wholesome cold polluted sea water to snap you out of this adoration and preoccupation for the devilish Debra.

And pay attention when I am talking to you and stop day dreaming about Debra in swimwear...Honestly, one track minds...(mutter, mutter)

Sheesh..................

Phil BC said...

It's not me who fancies Debra, it is my blogging companion, Brother S!

As far as I'm concerned Debra is evil personified. I was much more taken with the dearly departed Paula.

harpymarx said...

Phew.... opps...Very Sorry Phil, thought you had written the post. Should read the bottom of post re author. Yes, Paula came across as, you know, more human.... Debra is scary android...esp. those eyes..they give me nightmares...

Ok, Brother S ditto regarding the splash of cold polluted sea water...

I really REALLY cannot abide Ben 'I got a scholarship to Sandhurst'Clarke. And the Torygraph are right... he looks like a hamster.

Phil BC said...

Yes, Brother S has a penchant for dominatrix-types. This is what being a stalwart of North Staffs Trades Council does to you.

You've got to love some of their idiocies though. Was it Ben who said "making money is better than sex"? Wharra plonker.

harpymarx said...

"Was it Ben who said "making money is better than sex"? Wharra plonker."

Yeah, he said that along with him going on he had the best body out of the lot of 'em.... Yes, well, just what can you say...other than ... 'you're fired'! Which I hope will happen sooooooooon.

Phil BC said...

Ah, but Ben is good value for the lulz, so he'll stay yet awhile.

Robert said...

Last years winter was to be dry warm, then it changed to being wet and cold then it changed to be full of snow, looks like we will have a warm summer, a hot summer, and the weather will kill us all.

Aphrodite said...

I bet you would look fantastic in a swimsuit, Brother S!

Phil BC said...

Funny you should say that, Aphrodite. There's talk of us starring in a N Staffs TUC swimwear calendar. The things we're willing to do for the cause!

Anonymous said...

Just 4 you comrades, have a look at
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1188328/Hard-nosed-Apprentice-star-Debra-lingerie-shoot-hoped-propel-modelling-stardom.html

enjoy xxx