May Day Musings and Mutterings of a Maverick

First of all let me take this opportunity to wish you all a happy May Day.

Now, down to business. It’s Apprentice time again and I am hooked. I thought this week’s task was dull but the action in the boardroom more than compensated. I have to admit that Debra Barr, self-confessed super gob, floats my boat. Anybody who dares to criticise her performance is met with a haughty, sneering half-smile and a contemptuous glare. This week, she even dared to lambast Nick, Sir Alan’s trusty lieutenant, and received a smacked-arse and a final warning for her efforts. However, in the follow-up programme shown immediately afterwards (although I am told it is filmed six months later) Nick sang her praises and explained she got a bit excited in the boardroom. Nick’s boat has obviously been floated too. I don’t think she would have found Margaret so malleable!

One of the highlights of this episode was Margaret referring to another of the contestants, Lorraine, as a ‘Cassandra’. This, as we all know, referred to a prophet from Greek mythology that made correct prophecies but was always ignored. All right, I didn’t know - I could only think of Rodney’s wife in Only Fools and Horses. Sir Alan obviously didn’t know either because he glanced quizzically at Margaret as if to say ‘who the fuck is Cassandra?’

Now, talking of Cassandras, Boffy’s Blog has been predicting for some time that while being very deep the current recession will likely be relatively short-lived. Recently, a few commentators are starting to agree but originally he seemed to be a lone voice in the wilderness. I don’t want to start a deep debate on economics here. This is intended to be a light-hearted and upbeat post and I certainly am not underestimating the misery that people are currently experiencing in the dole queues. But I am going to stick my neck out here (like my heroine from The Apprentice) and state I agree there is a recovery underway and that over the coming months the rise in unemployment should start to slow before the jobless figures start to decline. If I am wrong, I will hold my hands up.

And talking about being upbeat, the Met Office is predicting a warm, dry summer. As I am suffering economic hardship, my summer holidays this year are going to be four nights in Bournemouth at the UCU annual congress. This is a big improvement on last year, which was two nights in rainy Manchester for the same event. Hopefully the sun will shine and I can escape the gruelling machinations of trade union bureaucracy for a few minutes to enjoy an ice-cream cornet on the seafront. Who knows, Sir Alan might even send Empire and Ignite down to Bournemouth to sell ice creams on the beach. Debra would look magnificent in her swimwear! Oh to be in England!